At 19, I hated Alaska, apparently

Looking for something else, I came across this poem/song that I forgot that I had written when I was 19. It amuses me... maybe I was emo?

I hate Alaska more than you know
Just a frozen wasteland of ice and snow
Fairbanks is an anus . A big shitty hole.
I hate Alaska. And the North Pole

Plenty of homeless natives who are passed out drunk
There's three kinds of trees with toothpicks for trunks
They've got Polar Bears, but you'll never see one
Just a retarded toothless redneck on his trailer porch and a shotgun

Japs and krauts make a journey to see the northen lights
Hope you like 3 months of pitch black night.
People get depressed there when the sun goes down
And then the druggies decide to shoot everyone in town.

How can you not love our 49th state?
Leader in child molestation, domestic abuse, ice cream, rape.
Russia would send prisoners there to rot and die.
The same will happen to you, trust me. This isn't a lie.

Lucinda Williams featuring Elvis Costello

This is a new track from the latest from Lucinda Williams. It features Mr. Declan "Elvis Costello" MacManus on it. This makes me happy.

Jailhouse Tears

Rock n Roll Hall of What?

The Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame has announced it's inductees for this year. Among the inductees is Run DMC. Correct me if I'm wrong, but last time I checked, they were one of the most influential hip hop groups of all time.

Checking wikipedia:

an influential hip hop group from Hollis, in the Queens borough of New York City.

Nope. Not wrong.

Run DMC is not in the same genre as rock n roll. So who's next? Toby Keith? Laurence Welk, Tiny Tim? Liza Minelli?

We're just going to let Run DMC in, when I believe Iggy Pop and the Stooges probably should be ahead.

Since the RnR Hall of Fame has decided to do this, I want the Hip Hop Hall of Fame to do an equal trade off. I want them to do an induction like,"Yo, I'm proud to present the next inductee into the Hip Hop Hall of Fame. They coming from the real ol' skool. They are the OGs of flowing, and they were down with pirates before Johnny Depp. Its my honor to present to you... Gilbert and Sullivan for their work with Pirates of Penzance! Honorable Mentions to Tom Lehrer."

Then I'd like to see 50 cent and Jay Z doing a "Modern Major General cover.


In short, in matters rock, rap and musical,
I'm the very model of a today's young and cynical.

The Community Bubble

This is a video of my band, the Community Bubble performing at the New Daisy in Memphis TN on December 5th, 2008.

The Community Bubble is a weird idea, where we have catchy, weird, nerd rock and funny tunes.
Michael Kline - lead vocals, synth
Stephen Kline - backing vocals, synth, percussion
Randall Holcomb - Bass Guitar, noise effects, lead vocals
Jane Haze - lead guitar, clarinet

The Community Bubble



It's safe to say, we are the best rock band in Memphis with a clarinetest. In your face other bands!

Agoraphobia - Jane Haze

So, I've decided to write a song today. It's a sad one. The clown is crying, as it were, but guess what? Even clowns know when to strike.

Agoraphopia - Jane Haze



That strays from the slight theme as far as "comedy oriented", but that's the great thing about having one's own blog which has hoped to be of a bigger SEO/SEF site with a blog that cradles it. One day. I too will have a PPC. And right now, because I am using obscure industry lingo, I will go in peace from you today. Maybe not in peace, maybe in apathy. That's it! I leave you in apathy, and I hope you will go away from me in listlessness. Mainly, because I want you to go away with many S's. S's are one of the most used letters in the alphabet, so really I'm hoping you leave with appropriate scrabble pieces.

So really, I should be saying goodluck on your triple word score.

That's how I'll end this then.

Good luck on your triple word score!

Chipunkery and Elvis Costello

Did you ever ask yourself, what would an Elvis Costello song sound like if it were the chipmunks doing it? Neither had I, but I recorded the song today mucking about and it sounded better twice as fast. I've tried to edit it to where it sounds funniest.

Merry Jane Hazed Demos

Demos from newly written songs.

Again, forgive the quality. That's why they're demos.


Fast and Furious


Transfixed in Time

Tranfixed is actually the better song.

The random continuity breaks are because I can only record 60seconds at a time. Again, thank you windows sound recorder.

Hope you like 'em. If not... oh well. This is all about apart of the experienced.

(Happy Mary Jane Haze day.)

Sleepless Nights

When I tell people, "Yeah, I didn't sleep last night." I sometimes get the response, "Well, what did you do?" Finally I have some sort of proof... It's really sorta the thing I always do, but something gave me the inclination to try to post it.


No Sleep Mashup - Skynard and Tom Lehrer




If Tom Lehrer would have written the elements later, he probably wouldn't have parodied "Major General's Song"... why not something more current?

Forgive me for the partial song, but my NEC Laptop from '98 is upgraded as much as it can be which is only capable of the Windows 2000 sound recorder. The humming you hear is the Laptop's backing vocals.

Anyway... hope you enjoy. If not, whatever. Saying the elements of the periodic table and playing guitar is hard. You do it better. Seriously... try it.