Movies/tv things that should go:

I feel there's a lack of creativity in the writing of movies and tv. Studios know you're going to buy or at least go see certain things, but I don't particularly care about because of your shitty predictable taste, I get penalized. So, here are a few different things that we should just skip in hopes of something new.



1. Superhero movies - noooo more new ones. I'm done. There are so many superhero movies that no superhero seems super any more. It's hard to suspend disbelief when you know in another film you saw last week has another power that could totally defeat or is the same one. Like The Hulk vs. The Thing. Or Pyro vs. the Human Torch. Iron Man vs. Batman.

And seriously, no more Batman for another 20 years, please? I liked the Adam West re-runs and then Michael Keaton... I've had too many different Batmans in my time. Two Jokers is already too many.

2. Kid shows turned into films - Transformers, you dirty whore. You sucked. Your acting sucks. Your plot sucks. Taking transformers out of the cartoon was sooo bad. Now they're going to do another Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There were 3 of those movies in the last 20 years. At least three. In fact, the second one is one of my top ten movies of all time, however, we don't need more.

3. Michael Cera - Oh god this kid sucks. I have no interest in him. He bores me, I'd fall asleep if he started walking towards me. Who gave him credit to keep being in films? The guy in Zombieland was a better nerd actor not to far removed from him, but didn't want me to hit an emo nerd in the face. I get weird and awkward, duh, it's me, but can someone just give this kid some pussy so he'll grow a backbone. Or take him out to the desert, give him some acid, then let him ride around with a biker gang that tries to initiate him by beatings. If he doesn't live, well, hey, we tried, but if he comes back maybe he'd seem more interestingly geeky.

4. Cop shows - I avoid cops whenever possible. Why do I want to watch what they do? I get it, there are bad guys out there. People do bad things. Sometimes cops are wrong. Sometimes they're right and bad guys still get away. I've gotten almost every episode plot like without going into the soap opera that is layered on it. Law & Order SVU should have been called the rape series, which still didn't make it more interesting. However, when Stewie was on, that was pretty cool.

5. Lawyer dramas - they're either Perry Mason and/or Ally McBeal. Perry Mason is better than ambien. Ally McBeal was alright, but again, that shows done, why bring it back.

6. Doctor shows - soap operas in hospitals don't excite me any more than being in a hospital. In fact, I'd rather just wait in an emergency room lobby. If there's a hot doctor at the local ER, at least I'd really have a chance to talk to him and not be a voyeur, fawning week to week over a douchey actor that had the luck of being the front man for good writers.

7. Ben Stiller - go away! You're dad was funny. Yes, you're super buff, but you're still ugly and not talented. With the exception of Zoolander, everything else you've messed up. Neurotic douche isn't funny. It just makes the scene longer. Stop talking out all your questions and then when you hit a point of questioning the other persons logic, the pause, "um..." while looking up thing really gets on my nerves. Don't have any kids in your films, they might grow up to act like you. Too bad the movies your in usually have really good actors. Damn you, Ben Stiller, that's a catch-22.

8. Long Commercial breaks - I will smack you, TBS, TNT and all those other channels that feel you've got to do 5-7 minutes of commercials every 10 minutes during a movie. Put it at the end or maybe a block at the end of the hour. I don't watch tv in the first place, and hulu is shorter, if you want me to keep relying on tv for movie viewing, you've got to understand, there are other options. Commercials are out of hand and they're loud, obnoxious, and usually break up my attention span. Well, I *wanted* to see that movie, but you no what doesn't have commercial breaks? Porn. Porn wins again, TBS. You lose and I doubly win.


If we eliminated all these things (with the exception of long commercial breaks) for about 15 years or so, they'd come back and they might be entertaining again. As it is, you're really running film and tv for me. I'm selfish, but it's been done before. Move on.