This past Wednesday, I was in Augusta, GA. It's a one trick town. Their main claim to fame and tourism is the PGA Master's Tournament. For whatever reason, the idea of epic deaths in Augusta came to mind - I use the phrase "epic" fairly facetiously, as none would compare to the scale of being gored by the running of the bulls in Pamplona, but your get the idea. So...
Ten Ways to Die while at the Master's Golf Course in Augusta
1. Make epic speech to the world and throw yourself off the Nelson Bridge into Rae's Creek.
2. Fling yourself in front of an unsuspecting and oblivious, high speed golf cart.
3. Cheat on Ellin Woods.
4. Throw golf balls into Ike's Pond until you piss of a gator. When he runs out of the water continue throwing balls at him. Wait for him to feed on you.
5. Take a bullhorn to the green and heckle unsuspecting rich douchebags with it while they're about to take the shot. The more serious they are about their game the better. Remember, Georgia is very pro carry. Wait for gun fire.
6. Get bitten by a rabid course squirrel.
7. Start a fight with a gang of golfers. Get beaten to death by assorted irons, woods and drivers.
8. Snort lines of Chem-lawn chemicals.
9. Bath in the Par Three Fountain with a plugged in toaster.
10. Watch the entire Master's Tournament and die from boredom.
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