Crowley to Hip Hop Prayer Book

I read a tweet today, that has spun me into 3 hours of random wiki reading. The quote was from Crowley. I learned that Crowley first developed a drug addiction after a London doctor prescribed heroin for his asthma and bronchitis.

And to think how hard it is to get oxycontin these days from your physician. I think we've regressed.

That's also like weeding your garden with nuclear weapons. Sure, it'll get the job done, but really, do you need the cancer?

Learning about Aleister Crowley spun into all the secret societies and his occult practices and his life to Thelema and finally back over to Christianity.

I tried to cross reference something from wikipedia, which ended up being mis-cited according to my trusty KJV. I sat that down, and remembered that my mom also gave me a "Hip Hop Prayer Book" for my birthday.

I finally cracked the pages. Yes, it's as hilarious as you'd think it'd be.

First problem - It's still an Episcopalian prayer book, which combines the whitest group of people on earth, with their perception of what they think the inner city youths will respond to.

Saying "WORD!" after "amen" for example. I don't get it, but will keep reading.

This goes to from regular Nicene Creed or Lord's Prayer speech to their horrible interpretation of Psalm 114.

The regular Psalm 23 can be found here - http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=psalm%2023;&version=9;

The Hip Hop Prayer Book version is:


[...]
He guides my life
so that I can represent
and give shouts out in his Name.

And even though I walk
through the Hood of death,
I don't back down
for you have my back.

The fact that you have me covered
allows me to chill.

He provides me with back up
in front of my player haters
and I know that I am a baller
and life will be phat.

I fall back in the Lord's crib
for the rest of my life.




You've taken a somewhat reputable work and made it not so much.

It's like taking the bible and putting it through the snoop dizzle site translator.

Also, as a fun fact, the final pages has a list of "respect, shouts out! & big ups", which as you might know, the plural of "shout out" is "shout outs"...

Number one listed... "Poet, Prophet Tupac Shakur"

Jigga wha?! While "Hail Mary" might sound like it should be in the book, I doubt the line "revenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy"...

Sounds like church to me...

So, "hail mary, nigga" might be apropos in this context. Like Praised be the Lord, bitch! Kyrie eleson, motherfucker. It's very hostile sounding, but instead of gregorian chants, you get kanye west and nas. (not joking. the eucharist schedule is on the back and those two artist are the music.)

Now... back to the Book of the Law wiki entry. It's 4 hours later and I still haven't gotten pass the second paragraph. Damn you ease of information around us all.

Cough and a wheeze... I think I need some heroin.